Emotionally Sloppy

when boredom hits...

2011-11-29T18:12:00.003+08:00

So one boring tuesday afternoon while waiting for my friend I wandered into this blog and voila! Here I am writing about it and noticing that it's been awhile since I last logged in. Blame tumblr (yes, still tumblr) also, i'm too lazy to write about anything happening in my life.

uninvited guest

2011-07-29T11:31:00.001+08:00

Because i'm bored, i'm depressed and I want to share this.

Here we go. Again.

2011-07-06T22:20:00.002+08:00

So this is me trying to blog again. As if I have exciting things to tell. Over the past few months i've been busy with:

1. Doctor Who

2. Misfits

3. Game of Thrones

4. couple books (too lazy to enumerate)

5. couple of movies (yes i'm really lazy)

6. tumblr

Yeah I think that pretty much sums up the reason why I stopped blogging. Oh and also I can't write a decent sentence. Yeah I think that's it. Anyway will try to start writing over my frustrations and depressions and stuff because i'd rather here than talk to my friends and blew my cover of Little Miss Sunshine. Yey to me.

...

2011-02-08T20:52:00.003+08:00

Whoa almost a year since I last logged in. Almost a year and I still have nothing intelligent to say. Yay for me.

Amazing Race 16

2010-03-15T20:07:00.009+08:00

This seasons fave are:

The cowboy brothers Jet and Cord McCoy. At first you'd think they don't know much but they're both pretty smart.

Brothers Dan and Jordan Pious. Because of their witty retorts and bickerings ["Do I look like Lance Armstrong or DO I look like Lance Armstrong" ] ok, there's nothing funny about that just the way he said it, kinda reminds me of BJ and Tyler (season 9)

wait! nothing beats BJ and Tyler, they're still my fave TAR duo.
and let me not forget Tyler and James (Season 10). Because they're hunks. (hunks in a skinny kind of way.)
Tyler and James

..... hmmkay guess i'm finished now. There was actually no sense in this post except that I love The amazing race especially the old seasons which got me really excited and all and that I think the newer seasons, starting with season 13 (Oh hey the 13th curse?) onwards are lame and kinda boring. [click here for season 13 winners Nick and Starr. Gawd I hated them]

Then again. Maybe this season won't be that bad.

DODGE!

2010-03-15T18:43:00.006+08:00

This photo made me laugh out loud I had to post.... if you don't find it funny well that would prove what I've been suspecting for quite some time now.. that i'm shallow.

Whatever this is, it looks very, very dangerous.

Got this over at tumbr (yes tumbr again from this guy, The Procrastinator)

hai there!

2010-02-04T20:27:00.006+08:00

Been a long time since I last posted something here on blogger. uhmm ok wait, I think I just posted something yesterday ehehehe. The reason why I haven't been blogging that much (I'd like to assume that someones wondering) is, drumroll please..... i've been busy being a housewife...ahhh yes, the joys of being married. Doing nothing but tending to your husband... satisfying his every whim. Prepare his breakfast. Getting his things ready. Tidying the house. Making sure his shirts are all ironed. Prepare for dinner. Get his slippers. All in all i'm a happy slave.. and not just any slave, mind you. I get free sex... now isn't that kwel?!

NOT! The hell i'd be that kind of a housewife! Then again, if it was for role play purposes maybe i'd reconsider. Truth behind the matter is, i've actually been wasting my time over at tumblr... I'm now a certified tumblr addict. I can't help it, its pretty addicting posting and liking pictures. Uhmm, between you and me, it's actually because of their REBLOG botton. It suits people like me who can't think of anything original and is lazy to think at all. You just press reblog and presto!! it's in your dashboard. And if you're an ass you take away the credits and pass it as your own.. nice huh? =) so off I go to tumblr again to do some serious reblogging.. ciao!

Oh and I hope you all like the pic.. I nicked it at tumblr. Its Aladdin after Jasmine dumped him for some rich dude. Times were hard so he tried his luck at dancing in the local club.

{before I actually get into real trouble. The photo is from here.. check it out if you want to see other princes who's gone sexy. Enjoy! =)}

gayspeak

2010-02-03T10:29:00.002+08:00

just saw this over at tumblr and found it quite artistic how the artist placed in all the words to form RIGHTS.

typography

2010-01-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year

2010-01-03T20:45:00.002+08:00

nothing much... just dropping by to wish you all a....

Maguindanao: Points to Ponder

2009-11-26T14:51:00.003+08:00

POINTS TO PONDER! How come when TED FAILON was tagged as a SUSPECT, every policeman in the country was in search for him? No evidence was found but still he was invited to the PNP station and treated as a SUSPECT although INNOCENT. Right? How come ERAP was arrested the day the government instructed PNP to arrest him even if there were NO DIRECT EVIDENCE that he was indeed responsible for the crime accused to him by other equally-corrupt politicians? How come some ordinary people can get arrested just by mere suspicion and others are not because they are powerful and favored by the government? The Law should be fair and it should be applied to all regardless of social status by: Ryan Ericson Canlas

Exactly what I was thinking too while listening to the news earlier today. (via tumblr)

Yo Kanye

2009-09-15T13:03:00.006+08:00

Because Kanye West has ADHD he just can't keep himself from grabbing mics and letting the world know what he thinks...

Kanye had to grab the mic, he was getting pissed at the crasher squirrel appearing in tons of photos than him.

20 Snappy Replies to the Comment, “Uy, tumataba ka ata”

2009-08-31T22:09:00.003+08:00

just reblogged this article from Lourd Ernest de Veyra (click for the original post)

So in the spirit of fighting fire with fire, we present 20 snappy retorts to that evil phrase “Uy, tumataba ka ‘ata.”

1. “Bagong promo ng Belo Clinic.”
2. “Hindi, baby fat lang ‘yan.”
3. “Nagsarado kasi yung Fitness First sa amin.”
4. “A sure consequence of increasing personal wealth kasi yan. Ikaw mukha ka pa ring dukha.”
5. “That’s because I’m joining The Biggest Loser.”
6. Rep has auditions for Falstaff.
7. “Maganda nga abs mo, pero bobo ka pa rin.”
8. “I know you meant no malice, but you have no idea how much you hurt my feelings.”
9. “Fifty percent off on Thai Jasmine rice at Hi-Top Supermarket!”
10. ‘Ever heard of the East Beach Diet?”
11. Alam mo, sabi dati ni Roland Barthes, “Steak is part of the same sanguine mythology as wine. It is the heart of meat, it is meat in its pure state; and whoever partakes of it assimilates a bull-like strength. The prestige of steak evidently derives from quasi-rawness. In it, blood is visible, natural, dense, at once compact and sectile… To eat steak therefore represents both a nature and morality.”
12. “I mean, that’s just your opinion, man.”—Jeff Bridges in The Big Lebowski
13. “Bakit ikaw mukha kang floorwax?”
14. “Nagbasa ako ng Preview. Yan daw ang uso in the next six months.”
15. “Which is why I’ve been taking Xenical. And I’ve got this nice, moist feeling inside my pants.”
16. “Idol ko si Ate Shawee.”
17. “Ah, but the curve is the most beautiful of all the lines.”
18. “May sale kasi sa Tubby.”
19. “Does the phrase ‘Dove Beauty’ mean anything to you?”
20. “Tangina mo rin.”

here's my own retort...

I know. We have a huge mirror at home. Kaw ba't dumami pimples mo?

that squirrel

2009-08-19T22:02:00.011+08:00

I'm sure you're all familiar with this famous photo of a couple on vacation. What made it famous is that furry cute little squirrel who's a bit of a camwhore (obviously). But you probably didn't know that this little critter has been everywhere...

with a model...

And another model...

On the set of Across the Universe..

With Buzz Aldrin on the moon...

With Pres. Obama

And of course if Obama has a photo with the squirrel our very own would want one too.

Ever wondered why the dogs on Pixar's Up were going crazy over a squirrel? Well this was the squirrel they were all looking for..

why, hes even been hanging out in Tristan Tales. Probably wondering when he could steal a scene from the Boy Diva himself...

he's been with Scarlett, that sexy i'll kick-your-ass woman in GI Joe .....

and, and.. oh damn! those GI Joe jocks got him.... well that looks like the end for our cam loving squirrel.

P.S No animals were hurt during the making of this blog.

Yes it's true(?)

2009-08-14T19:30:00.004+08:00

And so it says. It is true, the Jollibeer is coming.
Kinda hard to believe, (actually I won't believe it till i'm holding one)
(Don't ask where this is, I have no idea) =)

introducing: the Jollibeer =)

2009-08-13T13:40:00.002+08:00

One "Happy Meal"please =)

uh really now...

2009-08-08T16:07:00.001+08:00

Walk down the aisle

2009-07-24T11:21:00.002+08:00

WATCH

I wonder if they'll allow this here? This is fun and i'm tempted of doing this too. Weeeeee lol

Things that makes me wonder....

2009-07-20T16:40:00.003+08:00

While looking for some shoes I came upon this scowling photo of Angelica Panganiban. And the reason for that is......

.. her big shoes. I bet she was wondering, just like me, why they would photograph her with this shoes that's clearly too big for her.

And just like that, I moved away to another shoe brand.

Yes we're animals

2009-06-27T15:02:00.009+08:00

Sometimes I forget that we belong to the animal kingdom, but thanks to pictures like this i'm reminded that we really are animals...

This thing here is very common and for the love of me I don't understand why some people like to have their nails cut in a talon/claw kind of way.. then again i guess its our animal instinct kicking in.. afterall in really could come in handy when in a cat fight... meeeyaw

I don't think there's a need for me to say anything except WTF?!
(credits to messdressed)

This one shouldn't be part of this really but I just need to point out that some parents are really into this animal stuff and they think that their young ones should get into the animal role quick.

This little boy is lagging around a huge bag.

I guess it's because of the global recession that parents are now buying those double purpose bags. school bag/travelling bag. Mom I was looking at your kid and the bag and really.. thats huge.

Happy never after

2009-06-23T21:29:00.003+08:00

You’ve got to accept the fact that life isn’t a fairy tale, things aren’t always happily ever after. Things like magic wishes, Prince Charmings and true love don’t happen in real life. Magic wishes come from money, Prince Charming’s a shallow idiot with a bad haircut and overpriced clothes. And true love? Ha, true love is one-sided. You love her, she loves someone else. She loves you, you love someone else. Never quite works out does it? So you end up with some actor pretending to be your true love. Real considerate of someone to let you know reality was like that before being thrown into it. ‘If you wish, it’ll happen.’ Well, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up faster. Welcome to reality. Enjoy your stay.

P.S. The pic has got nothing to do with the post. I just couldn't help myself. I'm so looking forward to this movie (Alice in Wonderland). I always like the Tim Burton/Johnny Deep combo. And boy, Johnny Depp can morph into anything!!!

MOB NAME

2009-06-19T10:48:00.003+08:00

Because i'm so lazy and haven't posted anything with sense here's another one to add up to that. If by any chance you've got a hidden desire to be a mob and was wondering what would be a good name... then this is your chance. Click the HERE to know your mob name.

Mine's Fancy Pants (wahdahell?!!.....) What's yours?

The New Zodiac signs

2009-06-16T20:16:00.003+08:00

Introducing the new zodiac sign:
Ophiuchus - Nov 29 to Dec 17

Capricorn - Jan 20 to Feb 16
Aquarius - Feb 16 to Mar 11
Pisces - Mar 11 to Apr 18
Aries - Apr 18 to May 13
Taurus - May 13 to Jun 21
Gemini - Jun 21 to Jul 20
Cancer - Jul 20 to Aug 10
Leo - Aug 10 to Sep 16
Virgo - Sep 16 to Oct 30
Libra - Oct 30 to Nov 23
Scorpius - Nov 23 to Nov 29
Ophiuchus - Nov 29 to Dec 17

Sagittarius - Dec 17 to Jan 20

Great... so from being the emotional Pisces... i'm now the emotionally numb Aquarius.
(Should definitely be changing my blog name now.)

what a wonderful world

2009-06-10T19:03:00.005+08:00

Yep despite the global recession it is still a wonderful world.. what a shame we'll be missing stuff like this if the Hadron collider does create a black hole and swallow us all to nothingness or if global warming makes us extinct.

Now lets take a trip and pray that somehow we get to visit places like this.......

Welcome to Hooker Oklahoma

Where you can check into this "hot"hotel

Now this must be a happy place

....but not as happy as this..

If you're hungry... well.... black anus steakhouse would be the it place

How about a trip to Penistone UK

down crotch crescent...

where you can go to the Rtiz FUN Home

Or how bout going biking at Fucking Austria...

Or visit the anal store..

turn left to Dildo...

And please do drive carefully coz crapstone can get pretty slippery... as crap...

a dose of dirt

2009-05-25T22:23:00.005+08:00

While out and about in Asia its a must to check out the food

match it with a....

lets see how tough your tongue is.

... they wouldn't want the customer to choke to death would they?
here's the refreshing Cock Cola. Best served with Ice.

Hmmmm yum. I bet this is way better than granmas chicken soup.

Oppps.. don't forget to dip the dick sticks on the cock soup.

Of course what would any travel be without the shopping!!!

Wouldn't your friends be green with envy to see you fucking lovely

Don't forget to grab this t-shirt...

This T-shirt is a best seller. Bambi's twin brother. kicked out for being a pervert.

On the train please don't forget to heed the signs...

swallowing allowed

And now for those late night outing here's the place to be...

Now thats a nice combo.

wheeeeeeeeeee.....This place is fun....

Don't forget the pasalubongs =D

Love is a losing game

2009-05-25T21:56:00.002+08:00

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game

Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

~Amy Winehouse

Another Susan Boyle?

2009-05-12T11:11:00.002+08:00

Surprise surprise.....So wasn't expecting that voice to come out of him...

OMG!!!

2009-05-11T00:20:00.003+08:00

It just suddenly hit me and just thinking about it is making me nervous and lost ....

....OMG!!!! I think I am utterly, insanely IN LOVE with a gay man.

Rollerblade gut does Mozart's Synphony No.40

2009-05-10T16:58:00.001+08:00

This guy is really talented. I heart this video...

to lose control

2009-05-01T22:41:00.002+08:00

Love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current.

For when those walls come down, then love takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn’t even matter whether we can keep the loved one at our side. To love is to lose control.

~Paulo Coelho

(Another dose of my emocrap)

on love

2009-04-28T21:47:00.004+08:00

Love has an expiration date.

That's about all I can say.

the most common name

2009-04-25T00:52:00.002+08:00

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie darn that name I hear it everyday… almost in every movie I watch, in reality shows even in the books I read. How’s that? Is that suppose to be a sign or something? That I should just give in and let them be together? The thing is, everytime I hear that name I get anxious and I want to run to the comfort room and poop. Yep that name makes me poop. Not just the name actually.. almost everything that reminds me of her. The song “Always be my baby” also makes me run to the CR (i'm still convinced that this is their song.. oh and No fucking Air) Seriously, Its been a year now and still i'm not totally over the whole break-up fiasco. Writing about it also makes me want to poop.

Earlier today coming home the girl across me had this t-shirt that said “Your boyfriend bought me this shirt” and it made me wonder... what is it about boyfriend/husband-stealers? Is it something to be proud of? Is that suppose to be an achievement that one should do? Does it validate you as a human being? Does it make you feel better? Is it flattering or perhaps is it an ego booster to the highest level to be wooed by someone who’s already in a relationship? If that’s the case then I think I better try me some of those ego booster.

Bloggers Summer Encounter In Bora

2009-04-25T00:42:00.003+08:00

Hmmmmm anyone who's willing to lend me money to purchase the plane ticket? =)

The Naked Wizard

2009-04-24T23:13:00.004+08:00

This video has been going around the net about this guy who throws his wizard attire and flaunt his little wiener.

Naked Wizard Tased By Reality from Tracy Anderson on Vimeo.

Sorry, I wasn't paying attention to what the cops are doing I had my eyes locked at his thingamajig.

husbands anyone?

2009-04-20T13:56:00.005+08:00

Name: Akim
It's actually quite ridiculous that I'm here. I do quite well for myself - meeting ladies everywhere I go. Since I don't really need this, you might not hear back from me, but I do appreciate all your notes.
Location: Lebanon

Name: Philip
I'm lonely, how about you? I live in a crappy basement apartment and I'm hoping to go somewhere warm and sunny. If you have money and you aren't in Canada please email me.
Location: Wisconsin, USA

Name: Leonard
It aint official or nuthin but the ladies used to call me Dr Love. After a string of bad luck, I'm looking a get me a good woman who's got some dough.
Location: Southside Chicago, USA

Name: Buzet
I am looking for someone who can hold my attention, keep up with me, and who knows how to dress a wound. I am attracted to a girl with a job and a car. preferably a Camarro. I like to meet big american girl.
Location: Romania

Name: Steven
I'm definitely a classic romantic. I like a candlelight dinner, some quiet background music, and a couple hits of ether. I prefer a woman that has insurance and a car would be great as I need to make the occassional trip to Mexico to pick up "souvenirs".
Location: New Mexico, U.S.A.

Name: Bertram
Clyde seeks Bonnie to be partners in crime... I am a trouble maker! Techno-hedonist prone to psychobabble and taking stupid risks. Fun craving, riot inciting, thrill seeking geek girls preferred. Choir girls need not apply, because I plan on committing a few sins and misdemeanors in my time. I got booted off Match.com for cyber stalking but I'm better now. Location: Manitoba, Canada

Name: Andrew
I am a bit of a paradox. I am a very laid-back man who is also an insatiable adrenaline junkie. I live for the moment... work hard, play hard, and can then chill with the best of 'em. As a 23 year old balding man I'm in a hurry to find love.
Location: South Dakota, USA

Name: Lenny
I'm 7-foot-5 and looking for love. You likey the love? Tall guys have it going on... you know what I'm saying? oh yeah! I'm also pierced, and I don't mean in the ear...
Location: Alaska, USA

Name: David
Ladies, serving your needs is my game. Actually rugby is my game. Seeking.. a lady. I like the more natural look, somewhat earthy, but one that cleans up real well. I seem to be attracted to tall women with dark hair, smallish head, elongated torso, with natural finger nails (NO PAINTED HUSSIES!!!).
Location: Perth, Australia

Name: Mike
Ladies, I have a lot of love to give. I will be starting a new life shortly and want you to be part of it. I am very romantic and in very good condition,.. but I won't be available for about 18 months, but I'm happy to write letters. I'm up for parole next month, so I'm hoping to be available sooner. Location: Pelican Bay Pen, USA

Name: Rueben
You know what I mean by rocks my world, it's when laying next to one another on a Caribbean beach, staring just past your feet, at the edge of the blue sea, without the need for a single word, as no words could possibly describe how you feel. THIS DESCRIPTION IS NOTHING MORE THAN A PRETTY PICTURE WITHOUT YOU. Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

Name: Fuad
Ladies, I'm still available. I've been here for about 2 years. what gives? Don't ya wanna party with me? woohoo... They lowered my price twice already. I'm a red-hot special, come and get me. Location: San Bernadino, USA

Seriously is this for real? Its both funny and scary.

The Fool ( oh great LOL)

2009-03-31T09:33:00.002+08:00

Got the test from Tristan Tan

You are The Fool

The Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The bag on the staff indicates that he has all he need to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. Stop daydreaming and fantasising and watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

the bird and his chips

2009-03-30T13:59:00.002+08:00

So this bird walks into a store...

(March 18, 2009)

A seagull in Scotland has developed the habit of stealing chips from a neighborhood shop.

He waits until the shopkeeper isn’t looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos.

Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds.

The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Aberdeen, Scotland, and helped himself to a bag of chips. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.

Customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of chips because they think it’s so funny.

Article from here.

satire or not?

2009-03-30T11:22:00.003+08:00

The War At Home

March 27th, 2009

The Russians sank a Hong Kong freighter last month, killing the seven Chinese seamen on board. We can live with that—Lenin and Stalin were once the ideological mentors of all Chinese people. The Japanese planted a flag on Diàoyú Island. That’s no big problem—we Hong Kong Chinese love Japanese cartoons, Hello Kitty, and shopping in Shinjuku, let alone our round-the-clock obsession with karaoke.

But hold on—even the Filipinos? Manila has just claimed sovereignty over the scattered rocks in the South China Sea called the Spratly Islands, complete with a blatant threat from its congress to send gunboats to the South China Sea to defend the islands from China if necessary. This is beyond reproach. The reason: there are more than 130,000 Filipina maids working as $3,580-a-month cheap labor in Hong Kong. As a nation of servants, you don’t flex your muscles at your master, from whom you earn most of your bread and butter.

As a patriotic Chinese man, the news has made my blood boil. I summoned Louisa, my domestic assistant who holds a degree in international politics from the University of Manila, hung a map on the wall, and gave her a harsh lecture. I sternly warned her that if she wants her wages increased next year, she had better tell every one of her compatriots in Statue Square on Sunday that the entirety of the Spratly Islands belongs to China.

Grimly, I told her that if war breaks out between the Philippines and China, I would have to end her employment and send her straight home, because I would not risk the crime of treason for sponsoring an enemy of the state by paying her to wash my toilet and clean my windows 16 hours a day. With that money, she would pay taxes to her government, and they would fund a navy to invade our motherland and deeply hurt my feelings.

Oh yes. The government of the Philippines would certainly be wrong if they think we Chinese are prepared to swallow their insult and sit back and lose a Falkland Islands War in the Far East. They may have Barack Obama and the hawkish American military behind them, but we have a hostage in each of our homes in the Mid-Levels or higher. Some of my friends told me they have already declared a state of emergency at home. Their maids have been made to shout “China, Madam/Sir” loudly whenever they hear the word “Spratly.” They say the indoctrination is working as wonderfully as when we used to shout, “Long live Chairman Mao!” at the sight of a portrait of our Great Leader during the Cultural Revolution. I’m not sure if that’s going a bit too far, at least for the time being.

Chip Tsao is a best-selling author and columnist. A former reporter for the BBC, his columns have also appeared in Apple Daily, Next Magazine and CUP Magazine, among others.

Article from here

nothing but a quote..

2009-03-25T18:03:00.004+08:00

Because i've got nothing else to blog about and because all I do these days is go through blogs and tumblr to read... i came upon this..

“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?”

—	Ernest Gaines

perfect moments

2009-03-16T14:25:00.006+08:00

new breed of bird. his mother humped a jet.

During our time, our heads were bigger than this.

El Toro

uhhhhhh... urk...uuurrrkkkk.. gag.. GAG

city of angels

whoa!

2009-03-12T14:35:00.006+08:00

I admire people who has HUGE pain tolerance but seriously, looking like an animal is a different story.

Guyito's half brother

Taray king

Pa'no pag may sipon?

Then again... its their body so they can do whatever they want with it. just couldn't help but say OUCH!!

Happy Birthday to me...

2009-03-08T03:56:00.002+08:00

Just got home from a birthday bash that my friends surprised me with. (thank you guys!!) This is the birthday where i'll be thirty for ten years or until I can get away with it. And this birthday will be for my friends who has always been there for me and before the effects of alcohol wear off I'd like to go on emo-mode and say stuff to some people who I consider friends, (whether they like it or not heheheh)

E - My source of refreshing curse words. I like it when it comes from him.. His "bitch whores", "shit face", fuck yous and all those other crap are a source relief =)

Geek - person with few words but really gets you to the core.

Tristan - haaay Tristan. I wish I was more courageous like him.

RainB - I've got to say that when I first read his Errorfinder blog I was like "OMG, pls don't let him come across my blog" but he did and I was all smile that whole day =)

CM - reading his posts always makes me laugh, and because I was included in his "balato list" in case he wins a lotto draw. (ok that was only for that 300M lotto draw but im assuming that i'll still be included in case the Lotto gets to have another one of those big pot money draw and he wins. NYAHAHAHA)

all the other people whos been reading my blog (that seem to be going nowhere and boring at time... all the time really)....

Thank you, thank you, I love you all (ala Tatiana Del Toro who's really a pain in the ass.)

..... Happy Birthday to me!! =)

Another birthday. So what!

2009-03-07T19:14:00.004+08:00

Few more hours and it'll be my birthday. Seriously I don't feel like celebrating. What's to celebrate? That i'm aging and still single? Not that there's anything wrong with being one. It's just that, its another story when you're not really single but legally you are becasue you're just in a live-in relationship (geez I can't belive I actually said that.)

Come to think of it, there's nothing wrong with that either its' just that as I grow older it makes me feel pathetic because I can't stand up for myself. Older, but still don't have the guts to demand that I be married. Maybe it's because i'm too chicken at the same time scared that it would all be easy for him to say "goodbye!!" Scared, scared, scared. Jeez.. that makes me all the more feel pathetic. Nice combination. Old and pathetic yey to me. Oh and might I add masochist.

YUM

2009-03-06T15:57:00.005+08:00

Couple of days now and I haven't posted anything, was thinking of doing so earlier but every time I start something I go.... duuuuuuhhhhhhh....

UNTIL....

couldn't help but say Oh boy.....YUM!!!

Asian treasure

2009-02-19T16:59:00.011+08:00

duh?!! it looks like one stupid!!

good thing I came with my friend, the Hulk.

what? no fatherererest?

Holy crap!! its not just melamine in food!! also face powder?!

yes this is how atheist say it! God Bress you.

NEW: Chocolate Poop

Yep, its all here, choose from our wide array of dope.

tea served with a stick of weed.

this tshirt is ferfect for fefe.

scissors available here.

any way you like it baby.

talk about word for word translation.

Jackets for emo. They sell like pancakes.

If we don't finish, tomorrow would be under construction as well.

The hotel welcomes those with suicidal tendencies painters.

... just another safety precaution to keep the cleaners safe.

yep there's nothing like the bath and fun combo.

for more improved softness, add a bottle of mayo.

and this my friend are steps to drowning.

...I hope you don't have the earwax flavor.

customers are requested to bring their umbrellas along for self defense.

you can't get more concise than this!

emotional blah blah

2009-02-19T15:06:00.003+08:00

haaaaay so I belong to the top half.. (as if I didn't have a clue I was Emotionally Unstable).
Then again I could be on the lower half if I decide to.

The YESSSSS dance

2009-02-17T16:23:00.001+08:00

Ohhhhhh I so like this... yes!! yes!! especially the humping.. Yes baby lets do the humping!!

girl gone wild.....

2009-02-17T10:55:00.003+08:00

I wonder what would happen if everybody else missing their flights would throw a tantrum like that. =)

I wish I knew what shes saying. Anyone there who can translate?

(A late cheesy) Valentine song

2009-02-15T22:18:00.006+08:00

A day after Valentines Day and I decide to be cheesy with a song. First thought was Whitney Houston's I believe in you in me, but for some reason, Celine Dion's Have you ever been in love kept on playing in my head.. so here we are.. Celine Dion..

Have you ever been In love (Celine Dion)

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your hearts shooting stars
Youre holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever walked on air
Ever felt like you were dreamin
When you never thought it could
But it really feels that good
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever been in love
You could touch the moonlight
When your hearts shooting star
Youre holding heaven in your arms
Have you ever been in love, have you...

The time I spent
Waiting for something that was heaven-sent
When you find it don't let go,
I know

Have you ever said a prayer
And found that it was answered
All my hope has been restored
And I aint looking anymore
Have you ever been so in love, have you...

Some place that you aint leavin
Somewhere you're gonna stay
When you finally found the meanin
Have you ever felt this way

The time I spent
Waiting for something that was heaven-sent
When you find it, don't let go,
I know...

Coz have you ever been so in love, so in love
You could touch the moonlight
You can even reach the stars
Doesnt't't't matter near or far
Have you ever been so in love

Have you ever been in love
Have you ever been in love
So in... love...

have you ever been in love?

2009-02-10T13:01:00.002+08:00

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses. You build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They don’t ask for it. They do something dumb one day like kiss you, or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so a simple phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ or ‘how very perceptive’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

~ Neil Gaiman

Love according to children

2009-02-08T09:48:00.002+08:00

Actual children’s answers to the question “what is love?”

“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” - Billy, age 4

“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” - Karl, age 5

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” - Chrissy, age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri, age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” - Danny, age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” - Emily, age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” - Nikka, age 6

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” - Noelle, age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Tommy, age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” - Cindy, age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” - Clare, age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” - Elaine, age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.” - Chris, age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” - Mary Ann, age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” - Lauren, age 4

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” - Rebecca, age 8

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” - Karen, age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8

reblogged from here

grow old with.....?

2009-02-04T15:58:00.003+08:00

When i'm old and unproductive and i'll need help getting around, who'll take care of me?

While reading an article in a newspaper that sentence there got me. Is that my wake up call? some sort of sign to knock some sense into me?

For a couple of months now i've already "sort of" accepted that I will grow old alone and die alone. No other half, no kids or no parents to even say goodbye to when I die. That's just that. I will be all alone. Alone, alone, alone. Was born alone will die alone.

I should have realized that way before I was cheated on. I found out the hard way that no one else is ever going to always be there. No matter what they say or promise you. And no I will not have kids so that there will be someone to take care of me.. that's selfish.

I'll learn to hate if I have to just so I will not feel comfortable and start that "ill-rely-on-you" bullshit. I'll grow old with...me, myself and I. So I guess I better start loving myself to death then if i'm to be alone.

cats

2009-02-04T13:10:00.006+08:00

bored so just surfed around tumblr and found this...

I dont know, but something about it is just funny but at the same time.... gross.
Nice right? lol..

reblogged from here.

songs to live by

2009-02-02T21:26:00.003+08:00

I was doing some window shopping with Mr. heartbreaker when suddenly "always be my baby" booms out of the speakers. Oh great!! this friggin song follows me around.

When I first heard David Cook sang this on last seasons American Idol I was blown out of my seat. I was like.."wow what a great version, this song will be big." It sure did. It was played on every radio station almost every minute and by then I was starting to hate the song. This time around I really hate it with a passion. When I heared it at the mall I wanted nothing more than to get out of there ...FAST!! faster than you can say "HOoooly mother of all that is lousy!!" not this song again!!! This song being Mr. Heartbreakers song to man-eating whore isn't helping at all. Everytime I hear it I wish I could smash the speakers and shout out of frustration. I curse David Cook for singing that song. I imagine Mr. heartbreaker serenading her with it. Damn it!!!!! a$$!@#$%^&!!!

Then it made me think of music... how it helps us, makes us happy, makes us sad, inspires us, irritates us, makes us think. How we have certain songs for certain stages of our lives. The love songs, the "theme songs", the wedding songs, the break-up songs. ..... then "Sad to belong" by England Dan plays.... "Yes its sad to belong to someone when the right one comes along"

Damn that song. Has got to be the most insulting break-up song ever.

postcard

2009-02-02T15:26:00.003+08:00

If i'd have read this sooner, would this have helped me?

Got it from here

on break-ups....

2009-01-30T16:40:00.005+08:00

....it feels like someone kicked you in the stomach, feels like your heart stopped beating, feels like that dream, the one when you are falling and you want so desperately to wake up before you hit the ground but its all out of your control. You can't trust anything anymore, no one is who they say they are. Your life is changed forever, and the only thing to come out of the whole ugly experience is no one will be able to break your heart like that again.

~ the women

not that good a movie but was curious because it was about a two timing husband. Plus this movie quote kinda got me..... here's hoping that I wont get my heart broken like that again.

For the first time.... (im talking about the movie)

2009-01-28T02:07:00.003+08:00

It's 2 in the morning (i'm dead. still have to go to the office) just finished watching For the First Time, the KC & Richard movie. And just as I thought... I was saying Oh crap, oh crap throughout the movie. And the ending.... OH CRAP. That has got to be one of the most unrealistic ending, with the strict father of the girl (played by uhmmmm whatshisname.... Philip Salvador) telling the guy that he had to court her daughter at home after seeing them kiss.Then right after the the strict father was given a glass of wine the couple when into the upper room to prance around or... make do with some privacy. Oh and Richard here is the son of a former vice-president, went to Greece, is pretty popular because he was on the front page of the newspaper. So I was kinda having a hard time imagining why this guy who's fluent in greek and english suddenly blurt out "Mahal kita, mahal na mahal" to an equally high society girl. Just didn't seem right.I was expecting s'agapo or I love you coming out of his mouth not Mahal kita. OK, I guess that was the director being nationalistic.

So here I am... watched the movie and now making a post about it when I was complaining earlier that I wanted to post something (and by that something I meant write something with a little sense) And this post here is not one of them. Oh well....

flummoxed

2009-01-27T21:41:00.005+08:00

Want to post something but everytime I start I suddenly run out of words to type. So.. I decided to post about this instead... that I want to post something but I don't know what.

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-20T22:04:00.003+08:00

3 letters.. W.O.W. Been a long time since i've watched a movie that made me go wow. A feel good movie (towards the end) but also a glimpse at the harsh realities of life. Ok who am I kidding. i'm not a movie critic here.... all I can say is its a good movie.. so worth all the hours of download.. hehehehe hardeharhar... Oh and I liked the dance sequence at the end because what would a movie made in India be without the dancing.

its damn cold and so I whine.....

2009-01-15T21:22:00.002+08:00

Maybe its because of this blasted weather or maybe its because I miss him so much that I am into one of my drama moments. I wasn't thinking of posting anything. Actually, few months back i've sort of made a mental note not to blog about my twisted relationship anymore because it could really be tiring if I go on and on with my relationship dilemma and not do anything about it. But here I am. About to start with my relationship woes again. No he hasn't been cheating (not that I know of) If anything, he's been nothing but great BUT there are thoughts running havoc through my mind and its really driving me crazy. More like making me MORE emotionally dramatic. I feel like I am over analyzing things. (or am I?) I am not too sure if I should believe all that hes saying or not. (Here we go again. on that merry go round of what if's)

I love him. (I think I do) It's just that lately half of me is thinking that maybe letting go is the best solution to all my emotional turmoil. Breaking up is the answer because I feel like i'm not happy anymore. But i'm so scared to go over the "what-happens-next" after I break up with him. I'm afraid that if I go through with it I'll come running back. Or I go into another "depression era" (as if i'm not having it now) I'm so confused (DUH?!!) And I'm starting to wonder if i'll always be feeling like this if I continue with this shit. I am literally starting to lose my mind. I can't think straight. I don't know what I really really want. I want him but I'm afraid to trust him again. I don't want him but i'm scared that if I let go i'll look for him.

I am frustrated at him, for so many reasons and I don't want to be frustrated forever if we do end up together. It would be like a heavy burden to lag around. I'll be the unhappy wife who would look back at her life and wish that she'd gone the other way.There are many things that i'd like to tell him.. to let him know how I truly feel but the moment I open my mouth I stop and start thinking.. what if he doesnt react the way I want him to react? what then? would I be disappointed or would I let it go and be content that at least I get to tell him? Or what If I start talking and validate that we really aren't best for each other and that he really belonged to man-eating tiiiiit. I don't want to impose on people. I want to say what I want but at the same time I don't (guess by now you get the idea of "it's driving me crazy". I'm not too sure if i'm making any sense here. Im just typing away....) I don't want something like this. (at least I think I don't want something like this) I want to express myself but I'm afraid of the outcome.

I think i'm starting to sound like a broken record. I better stop.

Amercan Idol Season 8

2009-01-14T20:15:00.003+08:00

And so its starts. Another season of American Idol. I liked the rocker chick Emily with the pink hair and nose ring, Stevie Wright who sang the Etta Jones song At Last (or as I call it, the wedding song) and Scott Macintyre, the almost blind guy.

what do you do when....

2009-01-08T19:01:00.006+08:00

What do you do when the certified "harbatera" aunt of your "once" cheating boyfriend called you a swindler? Yep, until recently the titles ive been giving myself was... Emosloppy, raving lunatic, twit, blah blah blah etc, etc. Now i'll have to add swindler to that growing list. So what brought about the nasty name calling? Not so long ago boyfriends mom gave me her ecard to hold on to. Then came the break-up chronicles, I still had the card, and yes I actually had the nyahahahaha time-to-splurge idea. But I didnt.(now that this came up I should have!!) Oh but I did ask mommie dearest money to go to the doctor to have my heart checked because of the heartache her son was putting me through. That was that then I returned the ecard.

Now let me say something about this aunt. One time we were opening one of those balik bayan boxes from mommie dearest. Actually they were opening I was watching. Hoarder-aunt puts her gigantic hands on the box and pulled it towards her, then she started picking things up and said "this one's mine, this one's mine Oh and this one and this one and this one blah blah blah. Note: that box is for the 3 sons not for her. Then she took this bag of lipsticks..... she gets one from the bag offered it to me and said "I don't think you use lipstick. Do you? but here, choose one"...indeed reluctantly trying to give me that one lipstick she picked from the bag. I wish I could have laughed out loud coz that was effin' hilarious. I said no thank you I have tons of lipsticks. Actually I just said No I don't use lipstick. (but in reality I can't live without one.) Duh?!! I wasn't interested in those lipsticks I wasn't even interested in any of the stuff in that box. (no this isn't be sounding bitter because I didnt get to choose from the bag of lipsticks, I really wasn't) Whatever was in there I could afford for myself thank you very much.So after she'd taken the stuff that caught her fancy shed go home and come back the next day, scout around the house and if she sees something on the table she'd say "Hey can I have this?" And without waiting for an answer, grabs it and scoots away. Yes she wants it all. She's selfish and she doesn't want anybody else to share in whatever things there is that mommie dearest sends. Her daughter works somewhere in asia and when she send a box you'll only know coz she'll send 2 bars of lux soap and a can of crap. It's funny really. (and it suddenly dawned on me that i'm talking about balik bayan boxes. This.is.getting.lame!!)

She called me a swindler. What do I do? Do I....

a. retaliate (in a really bitchy way)

b. confront her about it? (in a really slow nice way)

c. file a criminal complait of slander (might cost me. Total waste of good money. I could buy tons of lipstick nyahahaha)

d. do nothing. She's just pissed because everytime she looks in the mirror she sees an old fat pig and no amount of friggin lipstick is gonna change that. And her sqeezing on those small blouses and short. (yes its cellulite paradise and the BFF Ms. HUGE varicose veins) HURL!!! Gawd someone should outlaw people of certain age who certainly doesnt know what "take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering things of youth" means. Then again she's way too stupid to know a text like that exist. Even if she did she won't understand it. I don't blame her really. Ok, I think I should understand, pity her even. Obviouly she's just jealous because I am what she wished she was. Even for just a tinny tiny bit. I have the looks. (good thing I dont have pics in here) One that she's never had and never will until she dies. (well not unless she swindles tons of money and do a total face surgery (ala face-off). Hmmmmm perhaps I should open a school of swindling and the old hag will be my special student.

untitled (the title you put when you can't think of anything else)

2009-01-08T15:14:00.002+08:00

Obviously got nothing to say....

funny (for me that is)

2009-01-06T23:43:00.003+08:00

And here is the thing that's been making me laugh for a couple of months now (actually I just knew about this late last year). I've watched this video a LOT of times already but it still makes me laugh (that's because i'm too shallow.) Also it makes me want to be a ventriloquist. lol

another one of those gibberish

2009-01-05T20:48:00.006+08:00

2008 should have ended with me celebrating inner peace (or whatever it is one should be feeling after spending time at a yoga camp.) But, turned out, wasn't yet time for me to achieve that so called peace crap. My last week of 2008 was nothing but wind and rain.

The Yoga camp's situated atop a mountain (or is it a volcanic cliff?) facing the pacific. To access the area you have to go through this jungle path then through a steep wooden staircase. And with that howling wind, it could possible topple you over those stairs and you'd be spending the new year with broken bones. So scrapped that (guess will go some other time) nothing left for me to do but lounge around the house.... and think.... what a crazy, lousy year I had. I think I cried half the year away. LAME!!!

So there I was thinking....thinking...and then this just popped up... why did I start a blog? I'm not a good writer, not good with words (proof enough here) I'm not funny (just trying to be, and failing big time!!), I don't have any interesting topics to share. So why start a blog then? and oh yeah, was because I was bitter and I wanted to rant about my "pseudo-break-up". But now that my drama crap is over what do I rant about? (oh great the new year and im thinking of useless things).. Oh well... if im lousy im lousy (guess i'll be changing the blog name soon to lousy and sloppy). Oh and heres my new years resolution... "Stop with the self-pity crap...it's getting way too tiring!! and do something about your posts dammit!! you're all over the place you don't make sense."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2008-12-31T17:03:00.003+08:00

So the year's about to end. Time for some new years resolution. Then again, since its awfully been a long time since i've had one, I don't know what my new years resolution would be.......

.. can't think of any... anyway HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-22T12:06:00.002+08:00

Just want to wish everybody a very Merry Christmas!!

whooooo is this guy?

2008-12-18T16:39:00.003+08:00

Pablo Banila. Just who is this guy? a cyber stalker? Hacker? New virus? (Im suppose to paste a pic here but it's kinda creepy to see his pic everytime I open this blog.

Anybody encountered him before in the site Multiply or Frienster? I googled him and Hello!!! hmmm hes making himself famous. There are a couple of blogs about him and someone wrote about him at the Inquirer. I look at the dates and this thing has been going on for like months now. But I have to say this kid is good. Im thinking of getting to know him and ask his help to hack into a certian someones account lol.

Anybody wanting to see this guy heres his site www.pablobanila.com (Rain, wanna look through it?)

the"job"

2008-12-13T12:01:00.003+08:00

“You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'.”

- Samantha Jones (sex and the city)

another one for the man-eating whore (when will I stop?)

2008-12-08T23:36:00.005+08:00

So who am I kidding? It's not like i'll forget that I was cheated on. I don't even think that I'll ever forget the feeling I had, the depressions, the sleepless nights. I can't... I just can't. Have I really forgiven him? Or am I sticking around because I hold a grudge and I want my fill of blood. An eye for an eye maybe? But I digress. The years about to end, I should do something about this grudge thingy. I've "sort-of" decided to stop with the hate/hating her. But before I wish her all the good luck in the world I want to do some spewing first.

To her equally whore of a friend, who befriended me, and had the gall to say that shes not taking sides coz i'm her friend too. (Yeah right!!! can I cut off your tongue?!!) I'm happy you didn't pass the pre-board exam. I hope you don't pass any exams you take at all!!! I hope you just rot away in that secluded little place of yours. I hope her other shitty friend who gave me a head to toe look that graduation day have a series of unfortunate things happen to her. I hope man-eating whore dies a horrible death!! Oh but wait! I should probably be careful with what i'm blabbin about. There is, afterall a thing called KARMA. And it maybe a good idea if I just let it do its thing instead of me scheming, praying, hoping, harboring evil thoughts. I should probably say instead that I hope they all have a good life. I hope man-eating whore doesn't get her heart broken. I hope her boyfriend doesn't cheat on her. I hope she gets sexier and prettier. (A total face reconstuction is gonna help) I hope she has a fab life!! I'm suppose to believe in karma and if I wish her all the bad luck in the world good things might happen instead. So I wish her all the luck... GOOD LUCK fugly man-eating whore!!! I wish you all the luck in the world I hope it smothers you to death!!!

...............Hoohum... like I said. Who am I kidding? I dont think I'll ever be rid of the feeling of being cheated upon. The behind my back part. The violation of trust... its killing me. Everytime i'm alone I end up thinking of those dark times and even if Mr. heartbreaker continues to say that he won't leave me again I cannot help but be cynical. So is cynicism a good thing? Does it make you any wiser? Am I any wiser? I think the smart thing for me to so is to break-up with him. Part of me want to, but a part says that this time it won't be the same. That if I just stick through this, i'll someday say "followed heart...never been happier". But what if it doesnt turn out that way? what if it's "Followed heart... BIG mistake"?

twilight movie and the philippine flag

2008-12-04T23:32:00.002+08:00

Still busy as hell, just dropped by to say that I saw the Twilight movie (twas nice) and saw the Philippine Flag made an appearance. =) It's on the cafeteria scene.

Just look over the flags by the window and there you'll see... the Philippine flag.

thats about it.. back to work for me.

anticipating the second coming of .. goodbye

2008-11-30T15:47:00.005+08:00

Few more days now Mr. heartbreaker and I will be over (again). Yes i'm somewhat anticipating it now that their exam is over. Better be prepared least I get into another shock.

I'm remembering those days before he did what he did... had no clue, no clue at all. I just thought that we were ok, that nothing like that would happen. But it did.. it came in the name of man-eating whore (D..de... ugh can't say the name!) and up until now I'm still not over the feelings I had when I was jilted. I guess I still have tons of unanswered questions thats why i'm still not over it completely. (Why don't I ask him you ask?) I don't the heck know! Maybe i'm afraid of what his answers would be. Up until now i'm still wondering why he did it. (the answer that comes to mind really is "Because he loves her thats why he cheated on you with her") Or maybe I was just too naive I never expected that it would happen to me. I am aware that in relationships theres always the risk of being cheated upon. I just didn't expect that I would be one of the casualties. I found out the hard way that just because you're good, just because you're a devoted partner, that doesnt guarantee you faithfulness.

Corny and tacky as it may sound but.. is this it then? Is this love or am I just bitter? Is it love when you've suffered too much, when trusting is now an issue but still you chose to be with him. Or is it nothing more but pure stupidity?

...So here I am counting the days till he says goodbye again. Will I be ready this time?

love and hate

2008-11-30T15:18:00.003+08:00

Maybe we got love and hate mixed up. Maybe love is suppose to be hate and hate means love.

Love makes the world go round they say (or was that, money makes the world go round?) but it kills. It kills ones better judgment, it kills your reason, kills your instincts, kills you mentally and emotionally. It drives people to kill others and themselves. Love hurts people to the core and leaves you scarred for life.

Whereas hate.. so simple... you hate that's just that. You hate people you don't anything to do with them therefore lessening your chances for interaction, for getting to know each other, for intertwining your lives together. Lesser emotional trauma. You want to be as far away from each other and you end up not hurting each other.

Either that or i'm starting to get crazy ideas about the love/hate bullcrap.

christian the lion

2008-11-28T14:08:00.004+08:00

When i saw this earlier today I was in between laughing and crying. (Translation: praning) I cried a bit because it was just touching. An animal remembering those that took good care of him. But then I started to find it funny especially when it said that the lion even introduced his wife and on the end part it was starting to look like a commercial. I was like, "Any moment now they're gonna introduce some new stuff." Oh and the music.. oh the music.. now that one added to my confusion. I didn't know if it made it touching or it made it funnier.

end of the world (OMFG!) what do you plan to do?

2008-11-28T10:51:00.007+08:00

Last night I saw the 2012 movie teaser at Mcvie's blog and it really scared the shit out of me I ended up dreaming about it. I guess there's no point denying it. I can't continue to act as if it's never gonna happen (not when I'm still alive that is) The world will indeed come to an end and 2012 just might be the year. (OH NO, OH NO PLEASE GOD NO!!!) So looking at that HUGE body of water crashing over the Himalayans I couldnt help but think... Do I start saving now and buy me a couple of floatation device? (of course it's not only me im trying to save here, me and loved ones included). Do I start building myself a boat ala Noah's Ark? In case you know of someone building one i'm willing to enlist. (I've got a feeling that after the movie comes out, someone out there will start to built one) Do I just make do with a kayak (how much does those things cost?) OR Do I watch Waterworld morning noon and night and try to really get the feel of living in water world?

That's just for the water coming. How about the the earthquakes, the hurricanes, and other catastrophic events?

And the more scary thing is? Earth may be on it's way to 2012 what with this global warming and shit. Here we are going about our daily lives, oblivious of the doom coming... Guess all good things really does come to an end.

hell week

2008-11-25T21:59:00.003+08:00

The clerks on maternity leave, we got tax mapped and the sales book wasn't updated so we got penalized. We have a huge order and everybody's busy. Its cut-off week so all systems must be updated. My hard disk died out on me. All files gone nothing to retrieve. Talk about hell week, and its only tuesday. la la la la la... Bring it on!!

what goes around,comes around?

2008-11-22T11:11:00.008+08:00

After watching The Other Boleyn Girl I could only guess what Queen Catherine of Aragon would have thought when she learned that Anne Boleyn was beheaded "ahh revenge is sweet. You got what you deserved witch!!" Pardon my thought, but that would have been what I would say if I was in her shoes and the king leaves me for another girl. Then again, as history, or fate, would have it. Her daughter (Mary) was succeeded by Anne Boleyn's child, the ruler of England's golden era, Queen Elizabeth I. Then it would have been Elizabeth's turn to say "Take that!! my mother wanted to be a great queen, I'll make it up for her, then she wouldn't have died in vain". Talk about vicious cycle.

So is that really it? In this world, is it really,"what goes around comes around?" Is there really such a thing as karma? If someone did a nasty thing to you and he/she did have karma, would you have it too by harboring evil thoughts towards that person? Would it now be a never-ending cycle of karmas?

Amazing Race Asia 3

2008-11-20T23:25:00.003+08:00

Oh crap Sam and Vince won the recently concluded Amazing Race Asia 3. They were last but came in first. (lucky bastards!!) They reminded me of last years winner, Adrian and Collin.

I was rooting for Tisha and Geoff. (they came in second) Was thinking they were gonna be eliminated early on the game because Tisha was pulling an Aubrey (aubrey miles during TARA 1 always had lipstick and powder in hand, was busy retouching then focusing on the game) Oh well better luck for next seasons Philippine team then.

that thing called... break-up

2008-11-19T22:18:00.004+08:00

Break-ups can get pretty nasty. Well it is nasty, its that thing that'll make you lose weight (good if you're overweight, bad if you're on the thin side, your ex might think you went anorexic because of the break up, which is the exact reason anyway but you dont want him/her to know).

The thing about break-ups is its a looong and tedious process, well not really if you're the one who initiated the break-up. After a break up, or in my case, space, you have to be careful and stir clear from certain locations, streets or even time of day, it'll be loaded with emotional landmines and you have to be careful where you step or else you'll be blown to pieces. You want to feel good but you can't push yourself to do so and suddenly you find yourself caught in an emotional storm that you never, in a hundred years, thought you'd be in. You'd find yourself saying, this isnt me! Im strong i've been through a lot of shit I can take a break-up. But thing is, no matter how much you tell yourself that, deep down you know you're struggling and you're lost. You want to deny that you're lost but there are just days that you give in and say "fine already! im lost and I dont know what to do." The tough armor you built wasnt that tough after all. You're stuck in the moment and you can't get out of it.(courtesy of U2).

What are the odds of finding a lasting relationship? Are we really suppose to get over someone in a slow and painful way? There'll be times when you wonder for many more days, months, years you'll endure the pain of being dumped. Break-ups does a pretty good job at tarnishing any lovely ideas you have about love. Its makes you cynical and an instant paranoid watchdog the next time you get into another relationship. The "what if" will ever be present. What if it happens again? what if he/she cheats on me? and which leads to another topic..... Cheating... which ill blog about when I think of something to say about cheating.. nyahahaha.. eherm.. oh well ,break-ups.. no matter how hurtful it is.. you get over it... (yeah like after years and years of therapy, if you have money. If not then you end up killing yourself..hahaha)....somehow.

man-eating whore

2008-11-17T20:12:00.004+08:00

6 months ago the man I so loved asked for a break. His words exactly? Space, he wanted space. Of course when you're in a relationship and your partner asked for space it could only mean one thing. This is a dry run for the break-up that gonna happen next. For the next couple of months (4 months) I was going crazy. I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing. I was a good partner, (I think I was, actually, im pretty sure I was.) and maybe that was the problem, its like some cruel trick of the world. If you're miss goodie two shoes you're partner's bound to become the spawn of satan. But if you're the im-a-whore aka mistress of satan kind of girl well, you're boyfriend will be this willing slave. They say it's the thrill of the chase. Somewhere deep inside us we want the challenge of taming someone wild. Think im crazy?

Guy friend number 1 good guy, intellegent, stable job, been with the girl for 3 years. Girl breaks up with him. Reason? he was too good and her friends thinks he was a loser. Guy friend number 2, was with the girl for 4 years, has the looks, is an architect. Girls breaks up with him. Reason? she chose mr caucasian. Both men begged the girl and both girls practically spat at thier faces.

After 4 months of the break-up hell he came back. I can think of some reasons why. Let me enumerate later. Now for man-eating whore. (Gawd you have no idea how im so tempted to grab her pics on friendster. No im not her friend,and wont be in this lifetime or the next?) I hate her! and I find it strange why I still love Mr.heartbreaker when it's suppose to be him I should be hating for doing what he did. Inviting man-eating whore to be part of us. Actually it's more like i'm disappointed with myself for still thinking about her. For still being bitter, for wasting my time thinking about her and even blogging about her. (a full friggin entry just about the man-eating whore). I've said this before and i'll say it again. He's back, he said sorry he made a mistake. He won't leave me again. What more do I want right? But that's just it, this is when I get crazy ideas coz while hes saying it my mind goes....

1. "yeah right! you're just here now coz that fugly man-eating whore is back in friggin Taiwan (can I not say that place again? I hate it now coz it reminds me of her).

2. you need me because you need someone to take care of you while you're reviewing.

3. (this is from the stupid, naive me) you came back because you do love me and everybody needs a second chance (fuck!!)

Ok lets say he really is serious. So why all the drama about man-eating whore? Because I still hate her that's why. (did i say that already?) why I hate her? because shes under the friggin notion that shes innocent in all these. That shes the victim and that im suppose to be the friggin 3rd party. I hated what she said. that she will ignore Mr.heartbreaker because she doesn't want to be part in hurting me. Can she get any stupidier than she already is?! The whore should have thought of that the minute cheating boyfriend started flirting with her!!! she could have stopped it right there and then! not after 3 times of saying "i'm friggin sorry I won't contact him again!

Alright already!! I know im stupid for accepting cheating boyfriend back. But i'd rather I have him than she does! You might think, is this guy some kind of adonis or something? no hes not! hes friggin far from that. Im just a selfish little prick that doesnt find someone dumping me amusing. I do the dumping! So better I have him back first then dump him later. Who am I kidding right? It's actually, because im a stupid martyr who thinks that hes the last man on planet earth and I dont want anybody else except him. Any self respecting girl wouldn't be giving someone like him another chance. Well lucky for him I dont have any self respect left. I am just the willing slave.. so ill slave away. And perhaps hope(?) that I get an award somewhere in this hellhole I put myself into (again!)

When i'm sitting at the office contemplating some things... thoughts like "I wish something bad would happen to fugly man-eating whore. " pops up. Images of her being run over by a truck, her ending up on prison her having a miserable life and yes, her in a coffin somehow satisfies my irritation over her. At times I think of emailing her, telling her what a lowlife she is but... the hell!??!!she'll just think that shes some kind of supehstar! She might even be happy that shes irking the hell out of me. And I wont give her that satisfaction. Its frustrating enough that I'm hating her. That the thought of the disgusting whore enters my mind. Shes friggin lucky that someone like me thinks of her! the whore!!! So here I am. I end up blogging instead of writing her.

To you, you ugly ugly man eating whore. I hope you die a horrible death. I hope you be miserable all your life. You and the evil spawns you'll have. I hope you have generation upon generation of badluck! Oh and I know you're actually the one thats bother. Why with those stupid shout out of yours on friendster. GAWDDDD I hope you die!!!! Oh and about cheating boyfriend you'll have him back im just borrowing him. Im pretty sure hell go back you when you get home or after his review . You shouldnt have left really but apparently one guy wasn't enough for you. You needed to go back to your naive boyfriend who had no idea that you were here ruining other peoples relationship. You're into ruining relationships which isnt a surprise really you can't even respect your own relationship let alone respect others.

eherm... I take that back. I think im being harsh. I'll just let karma do its thing. I should just focus on myself and force myself to not think of man-eating WHORE!!!!

One of lifes greatest secrets: women don't look for handsome man, they look for men with beautiful women.
- Milan Kundera (The Book of Laugther and Forgetting)

major weeper in action

2008-11-16T14:46:00.004+08:00

There I was watching Oprah chatting with Miley Cyrus. They went to another stage to surprise some kids... kids went wild upon seeing Miley some where screaming their heads off and other were crying.

Me: About to cry because I was happy for the kids. Looking at their happy happy faces.. Aww how cute. (tears building up. Ok let me switch the channel before I start wailing)

click click click..channel surfing and stops at Discovery channel. Oh nice green fields with butterflies.

Me: tears building up again. I was so overwhelmed by the scenery. God darn it!!..

click click click.. fashion tv's world music awards with Avril Lavinge performing When you're gone.

Me: tears falling... such nice lyrics I remembered how I felt months ago. What the fuck?!

click click click.. Cartoon network... carebears. Awww my best friend and I used to watch this.

Me: tears starting up again. What the friggin hell is wrong with me?!!

Turns off the tv. better sleep this off. friggin tears!!!.

HOLY CRAP!!!! (oh woe!)

2008-11-14T21:01:00.008+08:00

Gawd I just went over the blogpests site (coz I regularly check his site out) and OMG!!! (please put some really distressing sound when you read that "OMG") there it was.... my blog.. oh gawd oh gawd!!! I'm actually sweating here (its raining and I have the aircondition on) my hands are getting clammy. GAWD! he just scared the living shit out of me. Now I don't know if I should continue reading what he said or not! (I was actually preparing for this day, anticipating that he'll stumble upon my blog by accident.) I'm not too sure if I should be happy that he noticed my blog, seeing that hes really good or just shut this blog down to spare me from further shame. Oh crap... (biting my nails) .

..... just finished reading (inhale, exhale) Ok that wasnt too bad. (I guess?!)

WANTED: Someone to proofread my posts.
(didn't I advertise this before?)

sometimes (what a lame title)

2008-11-12T21:54:00.006+08:00

sometimes no matter how long and hard you love someone
they'll never love you back the way you do.
and sometimes
you have to be ok with that.....

(familiar ba? text message kasi.. nyahahahah)

Useless knowledge

2008-11-12T09:16:00.002+08:00

Still got nothing to rant about so heres some useless knowledge instead...

The largest cell in the human body is the female ovum, or egg cell. It is about 1/180 inch in diameter. The smallest cell in the human body is the male sperm. It takes about 175,000 sperm cells to weigh as much as a single egg cell. Hence, even in the beginning, women have more substance than men.

A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries....)

The original name for butterfly was flutterby.

Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.

Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men

scary?

2008-11-11T15:23:00.005+08:00

The halloween's over and the yuletide seasons just around the corner... but Im still into my scary pics obsession and because i've nothing to rant about... so here goes....

Gollums long lost brother

Be sure you're looking in the eyes

Ohhhhh her I like... oya!! oya!!! oya!!!
Japanese horror movies are scary. watched the original version of the ring and
the part when the "momo" emerge from the tv... SCARY!!!

Of course... the exorcist... should be included in every scary pics list. Isnt she a beauty.

but this one is a bit more scarier.

Id have loved to put Michael Jackson coz hes really scary.. but.. hooohum...boring!!!

Ironic?

2008-11-06T11:31:00.012+08:00

(The picture has nothing to do with the post I just like it coz its scary. and I like it near the other scary pic. BOW)

I accompanied my friend to the hospital days ago to have her baby checked..as we were waiting, for like ages for her number to be called I entertained myself at looking around the hospital.

Just beside the pedia clinic was an infertility clinic. And there in that place, couples who has problems having a baby merge with the couples that were happily cradling their baby. How ironic. I mean why place these two clinics beside each other? To let the infertile couple realize what they're missing and feel more miserable than it already is? To have the fertile couple flaunt their baby to the infertile couple? Oh well, maybe they have a medical reason behind that.

Also, days ago I was on my way to the office on this jeep and unfortunately for me I happen to ride one where the driver thinks he owns the road. And, as they usually do, this driver stops at the middle of the road and picks up passengers and clearly he was causing traffic. So one of the passengers pointed out that he was an idiot. I thought... this is it! finally someone who shares my view on drivers like this.. we could tell this driver that he was an undisciplined a-hole together.. So i took off my glasses (coz i can't think well with those on, dont know why, but its adding to my growing list, confirming that something is wrong with me mentally, of hated things) and started to speak... but stopped... and remembered that I was kinda far from the driver so id have to shout PLUS I was still sick... still had this clogged nose and if I try to speak it might come out different and the other passengers instead of joining us, might start laughing... So I stopped myself before any damaged be done and amused myself on the little girl instead, who went crazy and started shouting BEACH!! BEACH!! and wondered... Why do they do that?? evertime they see a body of water... everytime.

Bloodlust

2008-11-06T11:17:00.017+08:00

The purging of the Jews by Hitler. A 14 year old Iraqi girl being raped by American soldiers while her parents and sister are gunned down. The rape and killing of children aged 14 to 12 in India, least I forget, they were chopped to pieces and thrown in the sewers after.The bombings at Bali, Baghdad and other places where it's almost on an every other day basis. Teenage boys going on a shooting rampage at schools like the Virginia Tech shooting, killing 33 including the shooter, the beheaded construction workers and soldiers at Mindanao...everywhere else in the world someone loses a loved one.

A few days ago I watched Blood Diamond.(yeah yeah old movie I know.) The movie was good but I find it depressing. I find it sad that in reality those things happen. Children being exploited, brainwashed to believe in something that's still too huge for them to comprehend, that killing is right, that what they are doing is freeing their enslaved country. I cannot argue over one's dogma or the belief of a country but still, why use children to fight a mans war?A lot of lives lost, women being raped. It's like were not human anymore, more like monsters.

Death comes to everyone, I just don't get it why some had to die brutally and it makes me ask... "Where is God in all this?" I don't question God's existence. I know there is one, looking on and maybe even wondering what had become of his people.

They say things happen for a reason, that's another thing I can't quite understand. Are we put into this world to be victims? are we some kind of cattle being hand picked? Who's gonna be eaten next! Are other people meant to die in a brutal way? Like in the holocaust or the Rwanda Genocide? Would you believe the average life span of a Sierra Leonean (West Africa) is 38 years for men and 42 years for women. Are those to be examples for us still living? We are fortunate to be breathing, living in our cozy little homes with our loved ones, enjoying the company of friends, drinking our lattes, or bickering at little things that didn't go our way while others are being raped, mutilated, enslaved, beheaded.I don't think that we'll ever learn from the past or the present, if we do, then why are there still too many blood being spilled? Are we just blood thirsty beings by nature? war freaks? like there's no sense in our lives if we don't butcher each other? What a sick sick world we live in then.. makes you want to think that maybe, just maybe we all deserve to die.. how sad.. =(

It reminded me of this article I read that we are the true martians. Indeed maybe we are because in the 5,000 years of recorded history there has only been 27 years of peace. Out of the 22,000 days from 1945 to 2005 there has only been 26 days of peace. I doubt that another day will be added to that 26 days what with the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and other parts of the world. It's sad to know that we are capable of destroying one another, that we can't seem to have our fill of wars. That we always seem to find something to fight about, that we are capable of such horrors. Maybe one day all these wars will end because there will be no more human beings left to wage war on. New weapons aim to be more destructive so I guess that'll wipe us all in due time.

As the author said in his ending. "Welcome to Mars. Which war do you want to fight first?"

beauty = torture?

2008-11-06T11:10:00.007+08:00

Beauty=Torture. Coz that's what really happens when you want to have underarm wax, or any other kind of waxing, facials, underarm bleaching... its like your being tortured, you can't help but wonder "Did I just go back in time? Am I in the middle ages being put into one of those torture devices plus the gadgets prodding into your face?" It's like the attendants there are mocking you saying "hey this is the price you pay for trying to improve your appearance. Can't forget the time I had underarm wax.... OUCH!!! I wanted to punch the attendant for pulling too slow... read: WAAAAAYYYY too slow, made me wonder, did I do something to this girl in the past life or something?!

Barack Obama

2008-11-05T19:48:00.008+08:00

I just found out how really lame I really am and how a major weeper I am. Barack Obama's victory speech just made me cry(?). Especially the "It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America. blah blah blah etc., etc., etc. It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America" as if im an american...wala lang feel ko lang.

Actually I did an Obama post coz everybody else was doing it so why not join the bandwagon. right? nyahahahaha...Oh and by the way just thought id share that I like his name... Barack. Makes me think of someone strong (imagine it being said by James Earl Jones aka Mufasa-Simba's father in Lion King) Its like its in the same wavelenght Mufasa. Barack. Now for the last name, Obama.. well ehehehe when I first heard it I was like "is he some kind of relative of Osama bin laden?" (I know, I know lame.. tell me about it).

Oh well a change has come to America indeed... wonder what's in store.....

then what?

2008-11-05T10:53:00.006+08:00

Then what? thats the question one should ask everytime you've accomplished a goal or you're attaining for something. Then what? And it should also be what tyrants ask themselves everytime they go for the world- domination dream. Then what? invade the universe? Then what? be God? Then what? kill everybody? Then what? What if there's no more left to kill or to dominate? Then what?!

You like this girl/boy. Then what? You court him/her. Then what? He/she says yes. Then what? you become a couple, you say lovey dovey things to each other. Then what? you got her pregnant and you get married? Then what? Then somewhere along the path of marriedhood you say... I shouldn't have been married yet i've still tons to enjoy. Then what? You separate? Then what? You find someone new? Then what? Lets say you did enjoy being married you both get old. Then what? you enjoy life. Then what? You die. Then what? .... nothing more? You're dead already what more is there? Is there any sense in this post? I don't think so so I guess I better shut up already.

secret no more

2008-11-04T09:41:00.015+08:00

Because i've got nothing new to blog about, and because i've practically finished reading almost all the post over at Noisy, Noisy man's blog (yes that blog again), plus looking over the links and finding out other great blogs where I wished, teary eyed that I could be that good (and least I be branded a blogstalker and be banned) I'm just gonna post these postcards from postsecret that I find interesting, funny, sad and at some point in my life (so far) I could relate to.

I actually wished I could do this.

Should be "everytime I see a piece of rope, I wonder how it would look on man-eating whore"

I really do wonder....

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

when you love someone

2008-11-02T18:12:00.006+08:00

To all those who love but cant understand why....

When You Love Someone - Bryan Adams

When you love someone
You'll do anything
You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain

You'll shoot the moon
Put out the sun
When you love someone
You'll deny the truth
Believe a lie
There'll be times that you'll believe you can really fly
But your lonely nights have just begun
When you love someone

When you love someone
You feel it deep inside
And nothin' else could ever change your mind

When you want someone
When you need someone
When you love someone

When you love someone
You'll sacrifice
You'd give it everything you got
And you won't think twice
You'd risk it all
No matter what may come
When you love someone
You'll shoot the moon
Put out the sun
When you love someone

Actually its not like this song can answer it all.. I just like the lyrics. (I actually find this song cheesy way back, but when I got lovestruck (eek)I suddenly found myself liking the song. jeez!!)

Survivor Gabon's Marcus Lehman

2008-11-01T18:40:00.009+08:00

Is it just me or does Survivor Gabon's Marcus Lehman looks like a younger version of Paul Newman

Hunk hunk hunk....

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T16:24:00.010+08:00

Attending any costume party? Hope you get inspiration from these....The horror! the horror!

At first look couldn't tell who it was and wondered what a picture of a policeman doing amid celebrities..and Oh!! Oh its Sting from the Police hence the costume. (duh) Any moment now hes gonna strip his clothes (Full Monty here I come!)

Chaka Khan is now singing Mr. Roboto.

Vogue editor Anna Wintour about ready to ram anyone who gets in her way. (Inspiration from that dress taken from this guy)

Tori Amos just about ready for an intergalactic mission

Designer Vivienne Westwood... Now this one will surely get the attention of everyone. Scary!

to burn or not to burn?

2008-10-28T18:59:00.010+08:00

.... that is the question Princess Sarah is now asking herself... and us.. to burn the secs video she managed to bluetooth to her cellphone (which ended up broken after they had a squabble) or to delete it and not go for the revenge option. What we say? keep it for future use... actually we're into the blackmail thing but of course she could get into trouble.

So I guess that's how some secs scandals end up in the net. Because some jilted girl wants her fill of blood. Some kind of consolation maybe for the hurt shes been going through. But is it really a good option? It's usually, brokenhearted + revenge = disaster. I don't really know of any story where getting even ended up well (hmmmm how bout The count of Monte Cristo? Treasure hunting anyone?) Do you know of any successful revenge story? I'd like to hear one just so I can believe that those things really does work.

princess sarah and the sex video

2008-10-27T23:28:00.007+08:00

Princes sarah started hanging out with us when some friends at the bank asked that we tag her along. Only 23 years old, tall, pretty, has a nice figure and recently dumped by her live in partner of 1 year and a half. She pays the rent, gives cash to the guy eventhough the guy has a job. Guys family leaves with them. Today she called, crying. What happened? after 6 month of separation she went to their rented place to visit the mother, which we think was only an alibi, who she wanted to visit was actually Mr. beater(yep a frustrated boxer, he doesnt really make a punching bag out of her yet, hes still on the early stage of gripping/hair pulling... hair pulling?!) When she got to their place, Mr beater checked her cellphone and asked if she was seeing someone else and where she has been going lately blah blah bah blah.. when Mr. Beater went to the loo she gets the guys phone, scans it and Lo and behold!!... a steamy sex video. (Yep, this doesnt get any better right?)And what makes it even more steamy is its a show between Mr. Beater and his co-worker. Not just a co-worker but head of his department. First thing that came into Princess Sarahs mind?.... Yes maam, the heavens are smiling down on me... revenge is sweet....

just another day

2008-10-26T18:43:00.008+08:00

Walking home after an early taebo session there was this woman ahead of me. I was behind her for like 15 mins till I decided to pass her... I wasn't enjoying "lagging" behind. Then it hit me. Its like life... (actually I compared it to my situation with man eating whore) You can't always be behind someone. At some point in your life you've got to get ahead and quit living behind things that are slowly eating you out. It's a choice really... either you stay trailing behind or walk fast and be ahead. I cannot be forever paranoid or forever be under the (stupid) notion that im in some kind of competation with her. Then I remember this line from a very common prose thats always been a nice read for me. "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." I guess i'll just have to keep that in mind then. And anyway it's not like man-eating whore is some kind of wonderwoman that I should be insecure about... darn it!! to start with shes fugly and.. shes a whore.. .thats just it really, she's a fugly whore who can't respect her own relationship let alone respect others. A person who can't get enough of one person and needs tons just so she can tell herself she's someone special. (Do I sound bitter again? and maybe even a hint of insecurity? I just sound like it but im not! HONEST!!!Cross my heart and hope she dies... oopppsss)

king of pain

2008-10-25T16:11:00.007+08:00

There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
That's my soul up there
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
That's my soul up there
There's a blue whale beached by a springtime's ebb
That's my soul up there
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black-winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

Queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain

I don't know the deeper meaning of this song, all I know is I can relate to the words "king of pain". Oh wait didnt I just say that I'll quit this emo shit already? Oh well I guess old habits are hard to break. Or is it old habits die hard? whatever! oh oh but wait, didn't I also say that I've got till the end of the month to be emo? wheeee i've got few more days left to be emo... happy happy joy joy (boy miss ren and stimpy).

last hurrah!!

2008-10-24T22:18:00.007+08:00

Any time now im gonna be having my period. Coz im extra emotional and cry at the silliest thing. So here is another emo post (that I probably already said over the last post.. but ill say it again anyway) Oh and i'm thinking this should be my last hurrah!!! at being so emotional (to the point of "it" becoming my obsession) I was over at Tristan's blog (tristan tales) (feeling close ang lola mo) and he posted this song that kinda made me realize(?) "Make it mine" plus as he says emo is getting tiring =D So here's my last hurrah.

I don't think I'll ever be the same or feel the same again. I fear that I will always have these insecurities. I have no one to blame for this but me. I keep thinking what the two of them were talking about, the plans they had, their love for each other.

Sometimes I want to go away to be alone, to just think but for some twisted reason, the only place I can think of is being at their place. Which is kinda funny in a mocking sort of way. Why that place? It’s where the girls from. It’s where he went to meet her those months he left me. They have happy memories there. Why there? why why why???? (uhmm duh? coz youre stupid?)

I am gathering strength. I'm thinking after he finishes his exam. After ive fulfilled my self-imposed servitude I will have to say goodbye… because he won’t marry me at all. I think the idea never even crossed his mind, but then that man-eating whore came along. I guess I just have to settle with the reality that I did have my one great love but we didn’t end up together because I was never enough. I’ll have to be that girl he left to be with his one great love.

I am a bad person. (not to mention dense!! for not stoping yourself from having another emo post.) I am disappointed with myself. I love him so much that I’ve turned my back on people that loves me more than he will ever love me. And the sad sad part is, I’m aware of it yet I don’t do anything. I continue to love him despite what he did and I continue to ignore the people who loves me. How sick is that? Its only now that I realize that no matter how many good values your parents instilled in you it won't help. That "don't do unto others thing isnt true. Because no matter how kind you'll be,how good, how caring, how understanding it can never save you from being heartbroken. The one person you trust the most, love the most and the least you'd expect to hurt you will hurt you and it will hurt so bad. And the clincher is? (on my part) I still chose to be with him. No matter how massive the hurt was.

Is this suppose to be love? When you hurt so much and still you forgive, is it love? Did I really forgive when I'm still having a hard time forgetting? Forgetting the insults I got from the girl?

Who would want to be with me? A pathetic person who's hating herself just because the person she loved the most cheated on her. Im thinking someday,when he leaves me again to be with her, they'll have a really nice wedding. He will be happy because he'll be with the girl he chose to love forever.

... enough with the emo crap.... its getting tiring and awfully boring the shit out of me. Oh wait maybe i'll be emo til the end of the month. On the day of the dead thats when ill bury this emo crap and re-live my life to be "less" emotionally sloppy.

i'm an emotional mess

2008-10-22T14:21:00.011+08:00

CAUTION: This is an emo post.and full of self pity crap.

Here's what I truly feel. Everyday I feel like a bit of me dies. I know I should just be happy (should I really?) I wanted him back, hes back what more do I want? Thing is, I don't know anymore if this is really what I want. Our relationships tainted it can't be what it was then. My mind tells me its over we cant patch things up but my heart is saying "give it another try". I can feel hes sincerity I want to believe and fall all over again but I can't (not right now I guess).

Lately i've been feeling really.. I don't know.. blue? sad? bothered? pissed? paranoid maybe? I can't seem to get the man-eating whore out of my mind. I want to reach out(reach out? God where do I get words like this?)to her and tell her that what she did was just not right.(duh?!! as if she wasn't aware of it!) Im not a religious person but since this shit happened to me i've been going to church and asking God for guidance (coz clearly I need it. I cant think rationally.Think i'm desperate? I am.) What the hell is the matter with me anyway? Mr Heartbreaker semi-dumped me (why semi? coz he said he wanted space but continued to pester me all throughout the 4 months of hell. Actually by the 2nd month of still communicating I figured what the hell lets get into this mud pit together. No use ignoring your calls and texts coz deep inside I was waiting for them) Then he returns.. of course any girl with a brain would say FUCK OFF you ASSHOLE!! DIE!!!! (get the knife you've been keeping with you in case you see him) and stab the living shit out of him. Well just so happened that i'm the stupidest girl there is. So when he decided to return I was happy and embraced him wholeheartedly. Only after couple of days I noticed that I couldn't get the man-eating whore out of my mind. Plus the paranoia that Ok any moment now hes gonna leave and go to man-eating whore.

Mr. heartbreaker, so far is all good and loving (whatever the hell that means) hes been kind (so far) BUT (yes the but again) I don't trust my judgment too much to believe. Again, any self respecting person, would have known that if you cant trust your judgment anymore then it would be wise to leave. And again, since i've lost all my self respect doing the break up hell drama I cant get myself to leave. So I'm still in it. Getting comfortable with the idea that this is just temporary and anytime soon its bye bye you ignorant little twit, twas good using you as a doormat. Nothing better than a willing slave. oh joy YAY!!!

Ok It may seem that im enjoying this stupidity but really, sometimes (well most of the time) I hate where i'm in, and i'm disappointed at myself for settling to be like this. Most of the time i'd rather I just die (whhoooot!! dying for love how lame can I be?) I'm disappointed at myself because I never thought that I would be this stupid and this weak. That just because this love crap happened im thinking that dying would be a bliss. Coz then I wouldn't be felling insecure (yes im disgusted to say this but I'm insecure over man-eating whore). Id rather I die so I wouldn't be felling like shit, my parents and friends would stop seeing me making a fool of myself.(Anytime now I'll be writing to Noisy noisy mans Down the Highway). That's why I admire people like E (Chronicles of E) hes been through a lot of shit, seen a lot of shit but still he has this zest for life, a will to enjoy his life. Me? I'm such a weak self proclaimed bitch it sucks being me. (So you can all stop reading this blog now coz really its friggin depressing) and the stupid stupid thing is, maybe im just being paranoid about all this, Maybe he really is back for good. I'm crazy. (isnt it obvious)